Well I see that old man Bob Riley has "Willy Horton-ed" a fat white gobbler and made a hemp wearing vegan shed tears of joy. That's right Gov, you took another bird of the table of some hard working tire rotater from Semmes. I'm not celebrating until I know the facts of the charges laid on this loose necked menace. Isn't it nice that we live in the time of nukes and terrorism, but we take time for this 55 year Alabama tradition. It's even more amazing that the president also participates in this time honored tradition. I love stuff like that! I admit, I am a sucker for tradition and will be the first person out of bed on Thanksgiving morning for the big parade.
This show of leniency made me think of some other things that have managed to survive change(although I am not sure why).
--My mother has always warned me about keeping all receipts. According to her "If you throw those in the garbage....someone can get your CC# and steal all your money". I watch as people shred their bills, mail, bank statements, and old checks in hopes of protecting their identity. So why is it that we still get our mail(which has all of this top secret info) stuck into a box by the road. I do not know a single person who has a lock on their mailbox. Norm comes around about 11:00 when we are all at work, and leaves everything available curb side.
--I know (from 5 years at the Press Register) that a single newspaper doesn't cost that much to make. Is this the reason that they are still sold on the honor system? Once every blue moon I see a fat woman in slippers and stained pajama pants drop her quarters in the yellow box and double arm every paper inside. "Yes I have 31 coupons for Cheez Wiz".
--At least 12 times I can remember hearing a news man lay out the last meal of some guy that was executed the night before. How did this get started? Why was this started? Who wants to know that Ted Bundy had 12 tater tots and a Fanta orange before they turned him into a light bulb. There are endless websites that list the meals from as for back as a decade. I will sleep better tonight knowing that Im not the only one who likes catsup on my bologna sandwiches.
**Untill next time.......help keep small business alive.....buy a shoe horn!
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5 comments:
Does he only pardon albino turkeys?
I've put in a request for a locked mailbox!! Of course the elderly don't feel the need for one
If I was a warden, the condemned would not get a favorite last meal. I would find out what their LEAST favorite food is and that's what they'd get! I mean, come on-they're being executed b/c they did something horrible. They shouldn't get a last nice gesture.
And if the condemned tried to sleep the night before the execution, I'd poke him with a stick to make sure that didn't happen.
Is that turkey a democrat? B/c Bush seems suspicious of him.
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