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I pulled into the parking lot and whipped into the farthest parking spot from the door. If my parking spot is not available....I just go home. The thought of some overweight woman in a flannel shirt and stretch pants pushing her buggy right into the door of my sweet ride as she beats a malnourished 6 year old with one hand and digs the last piece of fried okra from the bag with the other, makes me ill. The sounds of car alarms on 81 Toyota Corollas resonated of the cellulite waddling through the parking lot. I meandered through the abandoned buggy obstacle course and dodged the morons coming out the in door. I threw out the universal "no" nod to the depends wearing fossil in the stark white mall walkers. Thanks gramps but I really did not need the stress of pushing a buggy with three working wheels and straining a forearm trying to keep it from taking a hard left into the novelty crimson tide slippers. They should really consider giving recruits a pair of those furry crimson house shoes. That would seal the deal for me!

One item and 7 people deep in the "express" lane gave me time to work up an explanation for the cashier when i say ...."I'm going green today, so you can keep the bag". Every time that phrase is uttered a cashiers eyes haze over with the bong residue smoked before the shift with Roy the welder. Its like the whole frontal lobe just goes into "Huh" mode. Its similar to the look an adult gets when the Tella Tubbies come on. If you need a visualization of the expression, just go into the nearest waffle house and scream "Marlboro just stopped making cigs".

Dodged a stray shoeless kid practicing the moves he will one day use to beat his wife and walked out........through the OUT door. Another visit to the NeckMart and I didn't catch anything.

Until next time................only you and outdoor urination can prevent forest fires