Martha Stewart has more street cred than you!

Yes it is true. When it comes to popping over to Snoop Dogs house for a casual black and mild or hitting up Rick Ross on the 2 way for some new spinners, Martha has the inside track. All of a sudden Americas craft queen....our high priestess of table settings and table manners has the ability to get Q-Tip to come on her show and stamp decorate a t-shirt. Not just any shirt, but one of those XXL Hanes Beefy T's that Aunt Gene or Granny Sneed wears to the bingo hall Tuesday nights. Some pastel piece of shit with glitter glue snow flakes and Conway Twitty lyrics stenciled around the neck line. Martha either shanked 6 people on the inside for Death Row Records or she has pictures of Kahne West at a Garth Brooks book signing. How did the most boring, self absorbed, out of touch, Judy homemaker get in every rappers T-Mobile five.

(For those who only know the Meeker by his more reserved alter ego....I hope you are not offended by this blog...don't hold it against me!)

If you have no idea what I am talking about at this point, then drop down to the videos below. In the short....she has had Snoop cooking. She had Ludacris for a show and this morning she had Q-tip making those damn T-shirt uniforms for slot playing grannies. This show in no way is the target market for gangsta rappers. maybe soccer moms would like to ease back after a long day of little league with them nasty ass beats of Dr. Dre or the fine phat ass rhythms of Mike Jones..who..Mike Jones..who..Mike Jones. Times are hard and I guess you just have to cross market these days.

Even that being said, what the hell did Martha get into behind the bob wire. We all had visions of curtain making Martha going through the chow line and asking what sauce the veal would be in tomorrow. "The meat is bologna biatch and its sitting in some congealed jelly shit that looks like snot". We all thought that she was going to take a beating from those mullet wearing skanks you always see in the Lifetime movies about prison. Boy were we wrong! Apparently the smell of prison ass and the sweet aftertaste of illegal toilet hooch broke down the soft exterior of this wine and lace T.V. star. A couple nights curled up on a concrete bunk next to a chic named Bushy will change a woman's soul. All of a sudden she is giving sewing lessons to Atlantic City street walkers and Be-dazzling the end of her tooth brush shiv. Martha Stewart is more Gangsta than you!

Martha Stewart learned how to survive, how to maintain her mental stability, how to talk to God.......how to turn 7 prunes, 2 apples, 4 peppermints and old urine in a plastic pillow case into a quart of Boones Farm Strawberry Hill. She is a convict. She knows the lingo. She has done time. Martha is one with the street. She actually can discuss the nuances of the food at Corcoran versus Chino. Martha actually knows what "Rollin on the grey goose" means. I am just waiting for her to have a whole show called "The etiquette of the prison tat".

Here's to you hard timer!

So here is Martha Stewart pre-big house...CLICK HERE

AND THE NEW GANGSTA STEWIE